Sam

 15 years today.  Cute little Sam baby came into our lives and changed us all.  It's so crazy to think he'd be a freshman.  Allie would be giving him rides to school.  All the little freshman girls would be buttering her up to introduce them to her cute little brother (how would he not be the most handsome freshman at the school?!) 

I met someone a few months ago who is carrying a baby with a terminal diagnosis.  I was able to cry with her and tell her about Sam and the wonderful and also agonizing parts of having him come to our family. I just went down the rabbit hole of reading his blog.  It's crazy how memory works. I really don't remember writing most of those things. I'm so grateful for the record. 

This blog has been a blessing for my family.  The kids love to look back at it and I love reminding myself of the things that consumed my thoughts and made me the person I am today. I always resolve to continue, but I also choose other things that keep me away from writing.  I really need to be better.

Back to Sam...I love that he still has an impact on people.  Allie was in Africa, visiting a woman who was living in very humble circumstances and as Allie visited with her, she knew her brother was there with her.

As I talked to my new friend who will be having her baby in a matter of a few weeks, I could tell her that I wish she didn't have to go through this trial.  I could tell her that I wished her baby could have been healed.  I could tell her all those things, but I loved that I could tell her that I wouldn't change a thing about my experience with Sam.

I wouldn't change that my kids have grown up knowing that Heaven is real. They know that Sam still lives. They have felt him check in with them and bring them comfort.

They know that when they are feeling weak, they have a brother who is cheering them on.  

We all know that Jesus is our Savior. We know that He knows our pains and cheers us on in all that we do. But how lucky are we to know that our cute Sam is there too. I like to picture him taking friends to listen as Jake teaches discussions in the Philippines.  

I like to picture him meeting the people we do temple work for. I like to imagine him being proud of his siblings when they go to the temple or speak in church.

I love knowing that he got to be there to say hello to Grandpa Joe when he moved on from this life. He probably dragged my dad along with him so he could have both his grandpas together again.

I love that he knows Heidi. 

I just feel so blessed to have had him in my life and to know that he's still with us and always will be.

So happy birthday Sam boy!  I love you so much and am so glad you came into our lives 15 years ago!