Conversation in the Car...

...we were headed into Logan and I looked in the rear view mirror to see two of the cutest boys ever.  They were just hanging out, looking out the windows and enjoying the ride.  There are times when I look at my kids and feel overwhelming love for them.  I always love them and always love to watch them as they experience their lives, but some moments are more powerful than others.   Anyway, here is the conversation...

Me:  I am so lucky to have you!  You guys make me so happy!

Nate:  You were happy when I was borned.

Me:  So happy.

Nate:  You were happy because of Sam?  You were so sad when Sam went to heaven, so when I came, I made you happy.

Me:  You did make me happy.

I can't believe this boy.  I'm sure I have told him some time in his life that he made me happy after Sam died, but I know it wasn't recently.  He remembers things though, and can connect things in ways that most adults can't do.  What a good kid.

On a somewhat related note, I was just about to make a post about losing my Sam necklace.  It's been gone for a few months now.  I had checked all the lost and founds at the church and at the temple because that's where I wear it most.  No one had seen it.  I was so sad about it.  I knew that the clasp was broken and there were two times that I remember taking it off.  One was at church and one was on the couch while I was enjoying a Sunday nap.  I had torn the couch apart and checked over, under, around and through that whole room.  I had prayed about it and never felt anything but hope that I would find it one day.  I did keep checking the living room because I thought it must be there somewhere.
In the mean time, every time I wanted to wear it, I felt more and more sadness that it was gone.  Mike offered to buy me a new one and that would be fine, but I still couldn't  help but be sad that the actual necklace that Sam held would be gone.  I always wore it to the temple, or to baptisms or places that I wanted to think about Sam more than usual, so I missed it when those things came up.
Then, a few days ago, Allie came running into the room holding the necklace!  She said she looked over at Jason, who was being unusually quiet, and he was playing with it.  They were in the room that I had searched high and low.  When we asked where Jason found it, he just spoke gibberish back.  Who knows where it was.  I suspect that it was under the rug or something because that's the only place I didn't look.  All I know is that it's back.  I am so happy about it.  It makes me want to hide it away so there's never a chance of losing it again, but that wouldn't be any fun for anyone.  Now I will just make sure to keep better tabs on it.  I'll get the clasp fixed and continue to wear it and think of my cute boy in heaven.  I am such a lucky girl.  Lucky in so many ways.