A Golden Birthday!

It's Sam's golden birthday!  He'd be nine today on the ninth.  That's pretty cool!  I was 2 when I had my golden birthday and I'm sure I never appreciated it.  Nine would be a great time to have a golden birthday.  So happy birthday Sam!  I am so glad you were born!

As I was looking through the pictures today, trying to find one that I hadn't posted before, I came across pictures from the o.r.  I think I must have always glossed over them because there are a few that show the doctors actually performing the c-section.  My mom was behind the lens, and I think I've mentioned before how my mom has never shied away from taking a picture.  :)

 Anyway, she even took a picture of the time.  What a good Mom!  I would have had to look that up in my journal or something.  Yet, here it is, easy.
She also took a picture of the first time I laid eyes on my perfect little Sam boy.  He wasn't cleaned up yet, or weighed, but they showed him to me before they took him over for all those things.

I like that Mike was holding him 10 minutes after he was born, and then, for the rest of his life, there were only a handful of minutes that he wasn't in someone's arms.  He had to be posed for photographs and he was set down for diaper changes, but that's about it.

 He's so cute!

 This picture is of my Mom holding him for the first time, while Mike and my doctor looked on. 

Allie and Jake met their brother right away.  I miss little Allie and little Jake.

We kept a hat on him most of the time so he could try to maintain a warmer body temperature, but man, that is a cute head full of white blonde hair!

Looking at these pictures always takes me right back to the Sue that I was back then.  It was a different time for sure.  We were so heartbroken, but things were so sacred and peaceful too.  We knew that we were blessed to have known Sam, even if it was just for a short time here on earth.

I bore my testimony in church last week.  I was sitting in the bench and thinking about the month of September, and my cute Sam's birthday and suddenly I knew I had to get up and say something.  I felt a bit silly because I was shaking in my shoes.  Shaking more than I've ever shaken behind the microphone, I was just filled with so much emotion.  I talked about how Sam bore testimony of Jesus Christ without saying words.  I talked about how I had decided when he was born that I would be his voice and that I would testify of the power of Jesus.  That He broke the bands of death and rose again.  That through Him, everything can be made right.  Everything is going to be alright.  I am grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ.

After the meeting, one of my friends asked me if I have imagined Sam growing up.  She asked if I use these years as markers to sort of imagine him growing up.  I explained to her that I still feel very connected to Sam's spirit, so I don't imagine him as a baby and not even as a 9 year old boy.  It's fun for me to imagine what place he would hold in our family as a child the age he would be each year.  It's fun for me to watch the other kids his age and wonder what he would be like in the group.  But my Sam is a grown spirit who is so wise and righteous that sometimes I am ashamed of the weakness that I show in my mortal life.  He is an elect man for sure and I am so blessed to be his mother.  He helps me be strong.  

All of our kids are amazing.  I really feel blessed to be a mother to each one of my kids.  They are all in my life and in this life for a reason.  Sam came to us 9 years ago and made us all better.  We all continue to work towards being the best we can be so we can all be back together again someday.

So, we celebrate Sam today.  We celebrate that he came to our family and showed us the power of Jesus Christ.  He is a reminder that there is something really great beyond this world.  We are in for a treat.  I look forward to the day when I can hug Sam tight and thank him for being my boy and for making me a better person.

I love you Sam Schwab!  You are ours forever.